To me, girlhood is essentially the socially constructed upbringing of female children, with a focus on activities that cause young people to adopt gendered roles.
My girlhood was very much about learning the social skills that my mother believed would help me to be a successful housewife of the 1950s for the rest of my life. When I was a very young girl, my activities were largely play-based, but as I grew older, starting as early as age five, my mother and grandmothers began to teach me traditionally “women’s skills,” such as sewing, knitting, washing and folding clothes, vacuuming, ironing, cooking and cleaning. My brother was rarely responsible for the same jobs that I was, and his jobs usually took less than half of the time that my jobs took. My mother also did more than double the housework that my father undertook, although he was always working on home improvement projects. I do appreciate that it was important to my parents that my brother and I did well in school. I think that they thought that it was more important for Chris to do well, and they seemed to support his extra-curricular academic interests (air and space interests, the solar system, airplanes, math, etc.) beyond the support they gave to me. I do not mean to say that my parents were not supportive of my education, and they helped me to study and took me to museums, but I do not think that they funded my out-of-school education as they did for my brother. (I got to use his hand-me-downs).
Looking back on my girlhood, I imagine that my experiences and parent-supported interests were extremely guided and closely- monitored. In my early years of childhood, my parents did not seem too worried about an impending loss of innocence as I grew up. I now realize that some of the clothes that I wore and toys that I played with as a very little girl were much more liberal than those that they chose for me in later girlhood, particularly adolescence and well into my teenage years. As the younger sister of a brother who I looked up to very much, I generally participated in many gender-neutral activities, and didn’t often play with many dolls. Instead, I chose stuffed animals, particularly, stuffed dogs. I had only a few, but treasured each one, especially one that I was extremely attached to as a very young child. Stuffed animals were softer than dolls, and seemed more active to me than dolls did. This qualification seemed to fit with my preferred interests and activities. I had several Pound Puppies. This one looks exactly like the one I had as a child:
http://mmarty831.blogspot.com/2006/12/im-product-of-80s.html
Even though I generally gravitated toward stuffed animals, my parents once gave me a “Jem” doll for Christmas between 1986-1987, because my cousin was also getting one. Jem dolls, 1980s fashion icons, could be considered the equivalent of Bratz dolls today. I also had two Barbies. I generally only played with dolls if a friend also played, turning doll play into a social event. Most of the time, I played with the dolls properly, to promote the social nature of doll play. However, sometimes my doll play would become violent, and dolls’ bodies were used as weapons. Sometimes, I would remove dolls’ heads and limbs, or turn them around into a humanly uncomfortable position. I sometimes used my dolls to act out ridiculous, jealous fights with each other. I remember being curious and perplexed about the dolls’ naked bodies. Jem and Barbie’s naked doll bodies were very different, and Jem was much larger than Barbie, which I found intriguing.
Image retrieved from: http://www.foreverjem.com/jemforsale.htm
Jem/Jerrica
Image retrieved from: http://www.ghostofthedoll.co.uk/Toys_Jem.htm
As I grew older, I began to notice that my parents, particularly, my strictly Catholic mother began to narrowly define the music, television, and other forms of popular culture that I was allowed to interact with. In a sudden change from one year to the next, I was unable to participate in popular culture that my school friends shared, because it was outlawed in my house. The extra-curricular activities that I was involved shifted from dance to swimming, and this affected my access to the popular culture shared by many of my peers. I left the social atmosphere of dance class and moved toward a much more solitary place in the swimming pool, where there were fewer girls, and much less time to spend connecting with them over shared interests.
Throughout this shift, my parents encouraged me to do many arts and crafts. My father has always been a fine artist in his spare time, so it was easy for him to share art materials with me, and it was also easy for him to pick up a few extra things for me when he stopped at the art store to make purchases for himself. Arts and crafts kept my hands and mind busy and focused. I think that I was motivated to create crafts because I loved to give gifts to my family members and friends. This was one way that I felt that I could be important to people in my life, and to make them smile and say “thank you.” Creating arts and crafts was a way for me to stay busy, quiet, and out of the way. Giving away the things that I made allowed me to feel generous and that I was able to make important contributions to the people around me, because my parents and grandparents saved everything I made. However, doing arts and crafts alone in the basement kept me from socializing with peers, and possibly took time away from learning, for example, important conflict resolution skills which would have helped me throughout life.
Plastic pot holder loom
I made many pot holders for every woman in my family.
Image retrieved from: http://www.dickblick.com/products/plastic-pot-holder-loom/
I wove small yarn “blankets” for my stuffed animals.
Weaving loom
Image retrieved from: http://www.bestrcdeals.com/product/Weaving-Loom.html
I knitted/ crocheted snake-like tubes of yarn.
Knitting mushroom
Image retrieved from: http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.newenglandsimpleliving.com/Hearthsong%2520knitting%2520mushroom.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.newenglandsimpleliving.com/spoolknitting.htm&usg=__PJgwIDnxpTbGiQMnS3LwMOhT2ws=&h=824&w=900&sz=107&hl=en&start=21&zoom=1&tbnid=fdj38XQNMDzPGM:&tbnh=131&tbnw=144&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dmushroom%2Bcrochet%2Bloom%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26biw%3D1280%26bih%3D581%26tbs%3Disch:10%2C512&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=1006&vpy=275&dur=1675&hovh=215&hovw=235&tx=182&ty=167&ei=VBh4TM2wO4X7lweJvMTsCw&oei=Txh4TI4fiPazA8z48awF&esq=2&page=2&ndsp=21&ved=1t:429,r:20,s:21&biw=1280&bih=581.
I made a wide variety of “trouble dolls” out of toothpicks and embroidery floss.
“Trouble” or “worry” dolls
Image retrieved from: http://www.43things.com/things/view/1442364/make-lots-of-worry-dolls
I made many clay beads and small animals out of FIMO and Sculpey.
FIMO clay
Image retrieved from: http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://multifilla.com/images/Product_highlights/DSC02140.JPG&imgrefurl=http://multifilla.com/Product_highlights10.htm&usg=__eq5wnGYmjWynMzHBqAqzTCJj9GA=&h=480&w=640&sz=155&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=Z3x_C9VCxFkIbM:&tbnh=145&tbnw=200&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dfimo%2Bclay%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26biw%3D1280%26bih%3D581%26tbs%3Disch:10%2C32&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=297&vpy=193&dur=3954&hovh=194&hovw=259&tx=89&ty=83&ei=-xl4TO2NPMzjnQf0u-iUCw&oei=-xl4TO2NPMzjnQf0u-iUCw&esq=1&page=1&ndsp=11&ved=1t:429,r:1,s:0&biw=1280&bih=581
I remained heavily focused on arts and crafts for many years, until around seventh grade, when I went off to middle school and social influences began to change my identity. Listening to alternative rock music was one way for me to have parallel experiences with many of my peers, and then come together to share in those experiences to “fit in.” Without social influence, I am not sure that I would have independently chosen some of the music that I listened to. Some of the bands I chose to listen to were The Smashing Pumpkins, Nirvana, Stone Temple Pilots, Bjork, Bush, and the Foo Fighters. Much of the music’s content was too mature for me at the time, and there were many drug references that I didn’t fully understand at the time. I remember feeling interested in highly emotional songs, especially those about love or anger. The music that I listened to at this time seemed to capture emotions that I felt at the time, but struggled to put into words. Choosing this genre of music was a way for me to separate my interests from those of my parents. By choosing to listen to this music, I believe now that I was trying to claim some independence for myself as I developed into a young woman.
